How the Prophet ﷺ Dealt with Trauma and Hardship

In moments of extreme difficulty, the Prophet’s response was to turn to Allah.

The manner and extent to which he ﷺ confided in Him, however, is truly Prophetic. The Prophet ﷺ abandoned every facet of his world and turned to his Friend. He ﷺ did not ask with hope, but rather with absolute certainty, that his Lord – his Rabb – was the solution.

The Prophet ﷺ had a two-step process when encountering hardship:

Turn to Allah in prayer and confide in Him
Seek counsel from his trusted confidants

The order of his process, however, never changed. A person’s immediate response to an event is quite telling of their mindset and understanding, and the Prophet ﷺ always – without exception – turned to the Creator in prayer before consulting His creation.

Sand dunes in the vicinity of Badr, the site of the Battle of Badr.

How the Prophet ﷺ Responded to Pressure and Stress

Prior to the Battle of Badr, 313 Muslims رضي الله عنهم were en route to intercept an unarmed caravan when the Prophet ﷺ found out that a 1,000-strong army, armed to the tilt, were waiting to pounce. The moment was extremely tense, as the Muslims were lightly armed, unequipped for war, and outnumbered three to one. As soon as the Prophet ﷺ returned to camp, he prayed to Allah in solitude. He ﷺ then gathered the Companions and asked, “What do you think we should do?”

As the armies approached, the stage was set for battle the following morning. The Prophet ﷺ spent the whole night awake making profuse du’a and prolonging his prostration. He ﷺ said, “O Allah, if you destroy this group [of Muslims] You will not be worshipped on this Earth.” In other words, failure here will mark the end of Islam on Earth. The stakes were never higher, and the Prophet ﷺ relied on his du’a. He ﷺ repeated, “O Allah, [I seek] Your help that has been promised; O Allah, [I seek] Your help that has been promised; O Allah, [I seek] Your help that has been promised.”

Shaykh Salih al-Ja’fari’s The Luminous Moons is a beautiful and concise work of *sirah*, IGI’s edition contains the original Arabic as well as English translation on facing pages. The Battle of Badr is mentioned in chapter 17.

Ibn Mas’ud رضي الله عنه said, “I have never seen anyone pleading more than when I saw the Prophet ﷺ plead to Allah on the night of Badr.” The Prophet ﷺ lifted his arms into the sky as he made du’a – an action reserved for the most desperate of prayers and requests.

‘Ali ibn Abi Talib رضي الله عنه said, “If you saw us on the night of Badr, you would have seen every single one of us asleep except for the Prophet ﷺ who was praying behind a tree until the morning.”

Moments before the battle began, the Prophet ﷺ once again turned to his Lord, raising his hands towards the sky, saying, “O Allah, fulfil your promise to me; O Allah, give me what You have promised; O Allah, if this group is destroyed, You will not be worshipped on Earth…” The Prophet ﷺ continued to ask Allah, and continued to raise his hands towards the sky, until his upper garment fell off.

He ﷺ continued, bare-chested, until Abu Bakr رضي الله عنه wrapped the garment around the Prophet ﷺ, hugged him from behind, and said, “Enough, O Messenger of Allah, enough. Your Lord will give you as promised.”

The Prophetic methodology is to combine unwavering reliance in Allah with putting in the effort with one’s own hands. ‘Ali رضي الله عنه said, “The Prophet ﷺ was the closest to the enemy, fighting most aggressively, and when fighting grew fierce, we would seek protection through him.”

‘Ali رضي الله عنه also narrated that when he came into the Prophet’s tent, he found him ﷺ making profuse duʿā’ in prostration, “O Ever-Living, O All-Sustaining! O Ever-Living, O All-Sustaining!” ‘Ali رضي الله عنه then went out to fight and later returned, finding the Prophet ﷺ in prostration. He again left and later returned and found the Prophet ﷺ still in prostration, and then Allah decreed victory for the Muslims.

In Mecca, the Prophet ﷺ would always situate himself in a position where he was facing the Ka’bah but with Jerusalem behind it. However, in Medina, facing Jerusalem would entail turning one’s back towards Mecca and thus the Ka’bah. The Prophet ﷺ grew increasingly uneasy with turning his back towards the Kaʿbah, so he ﷺ started making *du’a* to Allah to change the qiblah to Mecca.

The “Why” is as Important as the “How”

The Sunnah (Prophetic tradition) of making du’a is to lower one’s head and face one’s palms upwards, however in times of extreme distress, the Prophet ﷺ would raise his hands to the sky, as described in the Battle of Badr. Another occasion in which the Prophet ﷺ felt extreme distress was when requesting Allah to change the qiblah (the direction of prayer).

The direction of prayer (qiblah) was Jerusalem, as it was with previous Abrahamic Prophets. In Mecca, the Prophet ﷺ would always situate himself in a position where he was facing the Ka’bah but with Jerusalem behind it. However, in Medina, facing Jerusalem would entail turning one’s back towards Mecca and thus the Ka’bah. The Prophet ﷺ grew increasingly uneasy with turning his back towards the Kaʿbah, so he ﷺ started making du’a to Allah to change the qiblah to Mecca. It is narrated that the Prophet ﷺ even expressed his hope to Jibril عليه السلام, to which Jibril عليه السلام replied, “I am merely a slave like you.”

The most blessed human ﷺ asked the most blessed Angel عليه السلام for assistance, yet their subservience was to Allah alone. The Prophet ﷺ then continued to make du’a earnestly throughout the day. He ﷺ raised his hands high and face towards the heavens. There were no witnesses, as the Prophet ﷺ did so in the dead of the night, but Allah attested to it, revealing, “Indeed, We see you turning your face towards the heaven.”

The cause of the Prophet’s distress is quite noteworthy: while we usually suffer due to worldly matters, the Prophet ﷺ was pained at turning his back towards the qiblah, so much so that he prayed as profusely as he did when his life was under threat at Badr. The “why” is certainly connected to the “how”, and the Prophet’s deep concern for Allah’s din is inextricably linked to his response to hardship and stress.

The region of Ta’if is at a much higher elevation than the surrounding region of Arabia, and has a more moderate climate with significantly more rainfall. This in turn supports agriculture and vegetation in the Ta’if region.

How the Prophet ﷺ Responded In the Face of Trauma

After the death of his beloved uncle, Abu Talib, the Prophet ﷺ began searching for sustainable options outside Mecca. His reluctance to do so for so many years despite the increasing hardships truly demonstrates the Prophetic method of patience and perseverance. The Prophet ﷺ took inspiration from Prophets before him, such as Nuh عليه السلام who gave da’wah to his people for 950 years. However, without political protection, the Prophet’s life was in imminent danger, and thus hijrah was imperative.

The closest significant city to Mecca was Ta’if. Between tensions and peace treaties, the two competing cities enjoyed a love-hate relationship. The people of Ta’if were intimately aware of the people of Mecca, and vice versa. Ta’if was therefore an ideal base for the Prophet ﷺ to explore. He ﷺ took Zayd ibn Harithah رضي الله عنه and covertly travelled to Ta’if on foot so as not to arouse suspicion. They walked for two days and met with the leaders of Ta’if, three brothers who ruled the tribe of Thaqif in unison: ʿAbd Yalil, Mas’ud, and Habib.

The Prophet ﷺ presented the Message of Islam but all three brothers rejected the call with utmost contempt, disrespect, and disdain. One of them replied, “If Allah chose you to be a Prophet, then I might as well tear down the curtains of the Ka’bah [in remorse].”

The other added, “Has Allah not found anyone better than you?”

And the third said, “I cannot speak to you because if you really are a Prophet, you are too holy for me, and if you are a liar, then you are too beneath me to deserve a response.”

Habib ‘Umar’s Who is the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ? is a unique didactic *sirah* in question & answer format. Section 4 discusses the Prophet’s ﷺ journey to Ta’if and the hardships and violence he ﷺ encountered there. This text contains both the original Arabic with English translation immediately following.

Despite their insults and mockery, the Prophet ﷺ remained dignified and responded, “Very well. If you have rejected my Message, then at least do not inform the Quraysh of my visit.”

Despite being rejected in the vilest manner, the Prophet ﷺ remained in Ta’if for another week, spreading his Message to the common folk. Despite the Prophet’s ﷺ efforts, even the masses rejected the call, and nobody converted. Eventually, there were some people who were warming to the idea, which worried the Chieftains. In retaliation, they ordered mobs to physically attack the Prophet ﷺ. They viciously pelted the Prophet ﷺ, and despite Zayd’s efforts to protect him ﷺ, they were both bloodied and bruised from head to toe. They escaped the city and continued until eventually they sat under at tree for shade and respite.

‘A’ishah رضي الله عنها once asked the Prophet ﷺ, “Was there a day more difficult for you than the day of Uḥud?” She asked about the Battle of Uhud because the Prophet ﷺ was moments from death; his tooth was knocked out; his face was cut by an arrow; and his lip was hit by a rock and was bleeding profusely. It was perhaps the most critical moment in the entire sirah, as he ﷺ was one arrow away from death.

Nevertheless, the Prophet ﷺ responded, “Yes. Indeed, your people hurt me greatly, and the worst of it was on the Day of ʿAqabah (i.e., the incident at Ta’if). On that day, I presented to ʿAbd Yalil, Mas’ud, and Habib and they did not respond to me in the way I wanted. I found myself in a state of grief and sadness, and I did not realise where I was until I reached Qarn al-Tha’alib.”

Numerous benefits can be derived from the manner in which the Prophet ﷺ answered the question.

First, the Prophet ﷺ describing the incident of Ta’if as more traumatic than the Battle of Uhud – where he ﷺ was physically injured and his life was threatened – indicates the severity of emotional distress. Even the Prophet ﷺ acknowledged emotional pain as a bigger hardship than the ferocity of war.

Second, the Prophet ﷺ described what we would now refer to as disassociation: disconnecting from reality as a result of stress or trauma. He ﷺ had no memory of an 8km walk from Ta’if to ʿAqabah. This humanising moment depicts the Prophet ﷺ as a human being in need of Allah’s Mercy, and great inspiration can be taken from this.

Third, the Prophet ﷺ described his situation in a dignified manner, not searching for sympathy. He would not have mentioned it had ‘A’ishah رضي الله عنها not asked, and he did not complain or victimise himself ﷺ. We only learn through Zayd’s رضي الله عنه narration that the reality was much harsher and the Prophet ﷺ indeed faced a truly traumatic ordeal. Instead, the Prophet ﷺ reserved his complaints to the Almighty.

At the Battle of Uhud, the the Prophet ﷺ was injured and very nearly killed, yet he ﷺ did not consider this to be the most difficult day of his life.

When the Prophet ﷺ arrived at ʿAqabah and finally found some shade to rest under, he began making one of the most profound duʿā’ ever recorded,

“O Allah, to You I complain of my weakness and my humiliation before men. You are the Most Merciful of all those who have mercy. You are the Lord of the humble, and You are my Lord. To whom do you entrust me? To a stranger who receives me with hostility (i.e., the Chieftains of Ṭā’if), or to a close relative (i.e., the Quraysh) You have given power over me? As long as You are not angry with me, I do not care, but Your protection is easier for me. I seek refuge in Your Face by which all darkness is illuminated, and from which all the affairs of this world and the Hereafter are rightly guided. May it never be that I incur Your wrath or be subject of Your anger. It is Your right to criticise until You are content, and there is no power nor strength except through You.”

IGI’s free ebook Morning and Evening Invocations contains many authentic du’a from the Qur’an and from Hadith.

This beautiful, profound, emotional duʿā’ showcases a masterclass in how to converse with Allah. The Prophet ﷺ establishes the etiquettes of complaining to Allah, and how it differs from complaining to other people.

Prophet Yaʿqūb عليه السلام complained to Allah, “I complain of my anguish and sorrow only to Allah, and I know from Allah what you do not know.”

There are two types of complaint: The first type, the type mentioned above, is the essence of tawḥīd (monotheism), whereby one complains to Allah, seeking refuge in Allah, hoping for Allah’s sympathy.

The second type of complaint is to reject the will or wisdom of Allah, questioning His decree; this form of complaint constitutes kufr – disbelief. Iblīs (Satan) himself is guilty of this, complaining, “My Lord, for allowing me to stray I will surely tempt them on Earth and mislead them all together.”

The Prophet ﷺ surrendered himself to Allah, expressing that he had no-one to turn to except Him. He had no foreseeable options except his enemies, but then he ﷺ stressed that as long as Allah is happy with him ﷺ, he has no concerns. However, the Prophet ﷺ then went on to mention that if Allah were to make it easier for him, he ﷺ would prefer that. This clearly shows us that asking Allah for ease is permissible and that one should not seek hardship. The Prophet ﷺ shows that his priority was whether Allah is pleased with him, and his concern was not that he was bloody and bruised, but whether or not Allah was angry with him ﷺ.

Masjid Shuhada Uhud, the Mosque of the Martyrs of Uhud, at the base of Mount Uhud near Madinah.

How the Prophet ﷺ Dealt With Loss

In the “Year of Sorrow”, the Prophet ﷺ lost both his uncle and wife within a 40-day span. A number of the Companions narrated, “After the death of Khadijah رضي الله عنها, we did not see the Prophet smile for months on end.”

The trauma lingered for the Prophet as he lost the love of his life and his father figure within 40 days. Abu Talib protected him ﷺ externally while Khadijah رضي الله عنها protected him internally. The Prophet ﷺ was left with a void that would never be filled. Not smiling for months clearly demonstrates the humanity of our Prophet ﷺ. He was God’s chosen Messenger ﷺ, yet his feelings were as vivid as ours, if not more. We must allow our bodies and minds to feel, just as the Prophet ﷺ did.

When the Prophet’s son, Ibrahim, was on his deathbed, the Prophet ﷺ kissed him, smelled him, and began to cry. ‘Abdurrahman ibn ‘Awf رضي الله عنه remarked, “O Messenger of Allah, even you are weeping!”

The Prophet ﷺ replied, “O Ibn ʿAwf, this is mercy.” He continued to weep and said, “Indeed the eyes shed tears and the heart grieves, but we will not say except what pleases our Lord. O Ibrahim! We are grieved by your separation.”

It is pertinent to highlight the unrelenting calamities and tests our Prophet ﷺ faced. Humanity is unified in the notion that losing a child is the worst calamity that can befall a person, and we find the Prophet ﷺ burying six out of his seven children. This is after growing up as an orphan, with his mother, father, and grandfather all passing away in his own childhood. Allah is cementing his ﷺ role as a Prophet, because with perseverance through trials comes firmness in belief and tawakkul (reliance on Allah). The Prophet ﷺ is therefore tested far more than the rest of humanity. Hardship softens the heart, just as heedlessness hardens it, because it forces us to turn to the only One who can relieve us.

A large number of the Companions رضي الله عنهم , as well as many of the righteous people who followed them, are buried in Jannat al-Baqi in Madinah.

Applying Prophetic Lessons in Our Own Lives

We shed tears for the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, but we must take heed from his teachings and example. The Prophet’s heart bled, and his eyes wept, but his tongue did not disobey Allah nor did he doubt Him. That is the crux of the matter and the Islamic guidance in dealing with trauma and loss.

The Prophet ﷺ did not suppress his emotions, but he ﷺ did not allow them to control his actions or beliefs. Our bodies and minds are fragile and there is no sin in sadness. The very fact that the Prophet ﷺ identified Ta’if as more traumatic than Uḥud is a testament to the importance of mental health and a warning not to neglect our hearts and minds. The Prophet ﷺ confided in his loved ones and did not shy away from consultation, but he knew that Allah was ultimately his saviour.

This article was contributed by Dr. Salah Sharief.